Oh My Goodness!

I just finished writing about joyfulness and thanksgiving and how I am trying to incorporate it into my life and my marriage. I combined chapters 3, 4 & 5 and answered the questions listed very honestly and posted them somewhere and I am unsure where. Oh well, I guess I needed to go over all of it again. Hopefully I will be able to get it done tomorrow. I hope you all are daily experiencing the joy and peace that comes from walking with Jesus. To God Be the Glory!

Chapter 2- Nikki

What can I do to make him smile?
Just be nice...sometimes I find myself being nice to other people so much more readily than to my husband. That first smile just to say hello to someone as a friendly greeting. I have really been paying attention to this since beginning this study. I need to greet him with a friendly smile.

Let him sleep in on Saturday mornings....he leaves the house every day around 6:30, so I try to let him sleep in on Saturdays.

Make it possible for him to hang out with friends to watch a game or movie....

Save money....

clear out the clutter....

He is more of a physical touch person which is funny to me for a big guy but learning that over the years I can make him smile by trying to remember to touch his hand in the car or rub his back. Those simple touches mean a lot to him. I often don't do it for being tired or rushing from one child to the next but I know he really notices.....


I really liked the part in the book about JOY....focusing back on the little things in our day that can bring us joy.....read a book with the kids, play a game, make something, dance, sing, read the Bible. Turn off the TV and the computer!!! We often focus on the negative aspects of what we are doing....finding joy in the things we have to do anyway is a great example for our children and our spouse.

"These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." John 15:11

Chapter 1

Ways to be a helper

Help keep the garage clean- toys away from his cars etc.

Keep the kitchen free of clutter- My piles tend to accumulate and I know this annoys him so by keeping my things somewhere else and put away will make him less stressed when he comes home.

This is HARD, a short list...I will get better :)

Virtue: 2 Peter 1:5-7 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, to brotherly kindness love.

Graciousness: Exodus 33:19 Then he said, " I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim the name of hte Lord before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."

Wisdom: James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Prudence: Ephesians 1:7-8 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness jof sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence,...

Goodness: Psalm 16:2 My goodness is nothing apart from You.

Dear Heavenly Father, Please help me. I can do nothing without you and I need you to be a better help meet to my husband. My goodness is nothing apart from you, Lord. You created marriage to glorify you, Lord. Please help me and show me what I can to do be a better wife. In your heavenly name I pray.

Chapter 2, Time to Consider

What can I do today to make him smile?
save money
schedule and plan date nights
make it possible for him to go and see a movie
organize and clean the basement, the part where he hangs out

Few women ever know what it means to be cherished by their husbands, but if you love him through this trouble, you will be cherished. Being cherished is much, much more than being loved. (Created To Be His Help Meet, pg. 34)
Loving your husband isn't just doing what you feel shows love, it is doing what means love to him. Gifts are one of my love languages but Lewis would prefer I not get him a gift if he doesn't need or want anything. For years I would try to find the perfect gift to show my love and year after year I was disappointed by his indifference to my gifts. I was also disappointed year after year when he put minimal effort into picking out, buying and giving me gifts. I have learned to help him with ideas for gift giving and I always ask what, if anything, he wants.

Joy - emotion evoked by well-being, success or good fortune; gladness or delight

Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 31:11 You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever.

Psalm 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life; You fill me with Your joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.

Father God you are so amazing the way You work in our hearts and minds. Please help me to always be joyful, to show joy to my husband and children, to daily wear a smile and demonstrate that the joy of the Lord is my strength! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Please post your responses to Chapter 2 this week and Chapter 3 by next weekend.

Chapter 1-Debra Schroering

To be a better helpmeet I am working on the following....
1. talking with Rob more about training the children and asking for his advice (and listening to it and following through), instead of coming up with the ways myself and then telling him
2. working on keeping our house cleaner and more organized so I don't spend so much time on it and have more "fun" time. Right now I'm taking one room at a time. Cleaning it from top to bottom and then training the kids to help us keep it clean. Also, getting rid of anything that we haven't used lately or really don't need.
3. trying to keep my eyes open to see ways I can help him save time. (example...went through his box under his bed I put all his papers, etc. that are left around the house and organized the stacks so he could go through it in a few minutes. I also cleaned out his drawers beside his bed since they could barely close and threw away what I knew was garbage and put the rest under the bed for him to go through at a more convient time.
4. most importantly I've been praying for God's wisdom on what to spend time on each day and giving Him my day. He's the one who has chosen the best husband for each of us and He knows better than me what his true needs are. He is also the one who gave us 24 hours in a day and know what really needs to be accomplished and what he desires me to spend my time on.

Verses:
virtue: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whateer is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. Philippians 4:8

wisdom: She speaks with wisdom and faithful instuction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

goodness: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self control. Galations 5:2-23

Apology

I am so sorry I have been behind schedule on my posts, please forgive my tardiness and I do plan to stay on target in the future. Please post your response to Chapter 1 by Saturday, March 14th. God bless, take care and To God Be The Glory. Margaret

Chapter 1, Time to Consider

It is humbling to read 1 Corinthians 11:8-9 and think about my role and purpose for being on this earth right now. "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man". I think women have a deep yearning and need to be caretakers of our husbands, family and friends. This is a need and desire God has given us and we should answer this calling by being obedient to the Word of God and to the calling of the Holy Spirit by being the best Help Meets we can be. Sometimes we may not "feel" like being a good Help Meet or think our husbands don't "deserve" our best. We have to always remember that we are doing this for Jesus and practicing for the Kingdom to come. Do our husbands always "deserve" our respect and admiration? Do we as wives always "deserve" our husbands' love and admiration? The answer to both of these questions is an emphatic "no" which is why there needs to be three people in our marriages the husband, the wife and Jesus.

The first suggestion in the book to think of a new habit(s) to be a helper to my husband is an honor and a privilege when I think I am doing this for my husband and ultimately for Jesus. Some new habits I have thought of are: (1)when I am the first one up, bring in the paper for him, (2)clean out the litter box on Saturdays (it's his cat) and (3)make sure his area in the basement is not cluttered up with toys. Not very creative on my part, but I look forward to reading about what each of you will start doing for your husbands.

Heavenly Father, Please work each of these attributes into my character and my daily life.
1. Virtue
Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brethren, what ever things are true, whatever thing are nobles, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things.

2 Peter 1:3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,

2 Peter 1:5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,

2. Graciousness
1 Peter 2:3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.

Exodus 33:19 the He said, "I will make all My goodness as before you, and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."

Job 33:24 Then He is gracious to him and says, 'Deliver him from going down to the Pit; I have found a ransom'

Ecclesiastes 10:12 The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious, But the lips of a fool shall swallow him up;

3. Wisdom (there are many verses pertaining to wisdom, I just picked a few)
Proverbs 3:13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding;

Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Proverbs 16:16 How much better it is to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.

4. Prudence
Proverbs 12:16 A fool's wrath is known at once, But a prudent man covers shame.

Proverbs 12:23 A prudent man conceals knowledge, But the heart of fools proclaims foolishness.

Proverbs 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit.

5. Goodness
Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

Psalm 27:13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.

Psalm 31:19 Oh, how great is Your goodness, Which You have laid up for those who fear You, Which You have prepared for those who trust in You In the presence of the sons of men!

Romans 2:4 Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance.

Heavenly Father, I need your help! I cannot be the Help Meet You have created me to be without Your assistance. Please carry this burden for me, gently guide me down the path You have chosen for my husband and me and make the changes that need to be made in me. Help my husband to be patient with me and to see Christ and His Glory through the work You are doing in me. In Your precious son Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Following Directions

The following article was received via e-mail from Alpha Omega Publishing, it is a daily devotion I subscribe to. I thought the content was pertinent to our study of Created To Be His Help Meet because of its emphasis on obedience and following God's direction for our lives and marriages.

Following DirectionsThursday / February 26, 2009"Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip" (Hebrews 2:1).

What was I going to do? My son had studied all week long for this test, and if I accepted the way he had answered the questions, he would receive a score of 100%. However, there was one huge problem troubling my grading-he hadn't followed the directions. Although I had reminded him to read the instructions thoroughly, he had written his response in the blank instead of circling the correct answer. So what was more important, the fact that he knew the answers or that he had failed to follow the directions?
Are you interested in a printed version of this devotional? Then check out the new Daily Focus devotional book, perfect for your own Bible study or as a gift. Order your copy today!After praying, I decided to let my son be his own judge. Surprisingly, he was tougher on himself than I would have been and said, "Mom, it wouldn't be fair for me to get an A on this test." Together, we decided he should be penalized by receiving one grade lower for his failure to pay attention to the directions.Not following the directions usually has a more severe consequence in real life. That fact was first discovered by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When dealing with a Holy God, you simply can't skip over important details in His directions like don't eat from "the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" (Genesis 2:17). Today, Christians continue to skip God's commandments when they feel it restricts their way of life. Thinking they're able to do God's will their own way, they fail God's test because they didn't follow His directions.Is your life one that reflects God's divine instructions from His Word? Do you skip over those passages that test your character like "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22), and "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world" (1 John 2:15a)? God doesn't give instructions to make your life more difficult. He gives directions because He loves you and wants you to succeed in living for Him. Will you choose today to follow His direction in those areas you've been avoiding and receive His grade of "well done, thou good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21)?Lord, forgive me for thinking I can ignore Your directions and not suffer as a result. Cleanse my life today of those things that shame Your name, and help me to walk in a manner worthy of Your love. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Hello!
Due to weather issues and lack of computer issues I have been delinquent in getting this blog going. I was so excited to see that several of you will be doing this with me and I look forward to learning together what God’s plan is for our marriages. If you haven’t already, go to the blog and enter your story of how you and your husband met. Please have this done by Sunday, February 22nd.

The next posting will be based on page 25 of the book, the end of chapter 1 and due by Sunday, March 1st. On this posting list the following:
1) List ways you have thought of that you can be a helper to your husband, ongoing, not just a one time only thing
2) Write three verses from the Bible that includes three of the five attributes listed (virtue, graciousness, wisdom, prudence, goodness) Debi suggests the KJ version

Have a wonderful weekend!
God bless and take care

Rob & Debra Schroering

During summer break from college I meet Rob at a Southeast singles picnic. I knew there was something special about him, but didn't think about dating him. At that point in my life I was content growing closer to God and didn't feel like I needed a boyfriend. Through the next few years we became very close friends. He was one I always knew I could trust and one who I knew would always put God first. We enjoyed doing everything together. In the summer of 1997 we began to date. While on a walk in August of 1997 he surprised me by asking me to marry him. Three months later, November 22, 1997 we were married. On both sides of our family their was divorce and separation. Even though we thought we know God's plan for marriage before we got married, we quickly found out that we truly didn't understand it. Throughout the years as we've matured in our faith and our relationship with each other we have learned more about what God desires for a marriage. We continue to learn more about Him and each other each day. God's plans for us are always more amazing than we could ever hope, dream, or imagine when we are following Him. In November we celebrated our 11th anniversary. We praise Him for the marriage we have, but also realize there is always room for improvement.

Women Who Love Jesus and Their Husbands

This blog was created for a group of women, yet to be determined, who will be reading and completing the exercises in the book "Created To Be His Help Meet", by Debi Pearl. On the back cover of the book the following is written, "Somewhere over the passing years and changing culture, women have lost their way. This book is written to lead them back home. Regardless of how you began your marriage or how dark and lonely the path that has brought you to where you are now, I want you to know that it is possible today to have a marriage so good and so fulfilling that it can only be explained as a miracle".

The book can be purchased from the Pearl's website at www.NoGreaterJoy.org for approximately $13. I also saw it on Amazon for $9.40 and I haven't checked but it may be available at the Southeast library.

The first exercise for everyone will be to tell the story of how God brought you and your husband together. It might take a week or so to get the book so lets all try to have our posts done by Wednesday, February 4th. I'll start:

Lewis and I first met when we were both working at Ernst & Young, he was an accountant and I was in healthcare consulting. Our offices or cubicles were on different floors but he did a lot of work for a partner who was on our floor. Shortly after I started working at E&Y Lewis left to go to law school at UofL. Three years passed and during that time I went to work at Jewish Hospital and returned to E&Y. On my first day back a group of us went to lunch and I ran into Lewis at the Delta Restaurant and Lounge (for any of you who work downtown, not a classy place). Shortly after that Lewis called and invited me to meet up with him and a group but I chose not to go. If he wanted to ask me out he should do it. He did call a few days later and we met for appetizers and a drink after work. We started dating and were engaged in New York City on September 12, 1998. We had a short engagement and were married February 27, 1999. Our tenth anniversary is next month.

We are so blessed and fortunate to still be together, marriage is hard and we have definitely had our ups and downs but since we both have decided to put Jesus in charge and live for him it has gotten much easier and more enjoyable. The aforementioned book offers guidance for a happy marriage and I so desire to have the marriage God wants me to have. I don't know anyone who couldn't use a little godly advice now and then. Lets take this opportunity offer up our hearts and marriages to the Lord and seek His guidance through prayer, the Bible and this book.

Father God, You are so amazing how you work in each of our lives. You are a God of details, You have createded the perfect plan for marriage and have written it in Your Word. Please help each of us who has decided to seek Your plan and guidance to have open hearts, minds and eyes to Your perfect plan. Lord I know there are so many women who could greatly benefit from this study please guide and direct them to this blog, to a friend, friend of a friend or to me. I know we have so much to learn from each other but especially and more specifically from you. Please bless our marriages and our relationships with each other through the time spent studying, practicing and implementing Your plan. Father, we know that You hear our prayers and you loves us more than we can imagine. Please guide our discussions and speak through the texts to show us exactly what we should be doing to strengthen our marriages. All these things I/we ask in Your precious son Jesus' name. Amen

To God Be The Glory!